by Christine Torry
There is a tendency, I find, for the public to see lawyers in a very negative light, particularly when it comes to the area of family law. People need family lawyers when they are going through a very hurtful and difficult experience. They look to the lawyers to help them find solutions to a situation they are hurt and angry about. Often that is a solution that meets only their individual needs, one person in a family. If the solution includes going to court, the experience can be hostile, protracted and expensive. This is generally not directly attributable to the actions of the lawyer. However, as lawyers are an integral part of the process, it is logical that the person often feels that the lawyers, theirs and/or the other parties’, have contributed to the very negative experience they are having with the other party, with the court system and with the litigation process they are involved in.
In the litigation arena the parties often have negative experiences not only with their lawyers but also with other professionals involved. Often financial experts are hired by one or the other party to prove or disprove financial wealth or income, or mental health professionals are hired to conduct an assessment of their abilities as parents. All of these participants are part of the overall experience which in litigation, I believe, is never positive. It may sometimes be necessary, but it is never positive.
Collaborative practice differs significantly from the standard practice of litigation. Lawyers and other collaborative professionals are trained to do things differently. Their job is to work as a team with all parties and professionals to find solutions that meet the needs and goals of all members of the family as they move from an intact to a separated family. Often we describe ourselves as transitioning from litigators to peacemakers. We use our legal skills in creative ways to solve problems, not to prove a fact or win a case. Our goal is to help families separate in a way that will respect what they had and how they will deal with each other in future.
Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying: “Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbours to compromise whenever they can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser-in fees, expenses and waste of time. As a peacemaker, the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good man.”
My first training in collaborative practice was more than 10 years ago. Since then I have had the privilege of working with many clients interested in finding solutions to their separation that are focused on their family, and how to resolve their dispute in a way that considers everyone’s needs and goals for the future. With one particular family, I had the opportunity to meet with the children at a social engagement some years after their parents had separated. The son, at that time about 18 years of age, proudly introduced me to his friends as “one of the good lawyers”.
It confirmed my belief that the collaborative process helps all members of the family, particularly the children.
Christine A. Torry
Willis & Torry
35 Queen Street South
Mississauga, ON, L5M 1K2