Peel Halton Collaborative

Outside the Box: Using the Collaborative Process for Collaborative Agreements and Marriage Contracts

May 15, 2014 2:22 pm Comments Off

By Marian Gage

When a potential client comes to me for the first time, already-drafted marriage contract in hand, asking me to read it over and sign the certificate of Independent Legal Advice (and quickly because the wedding is this Friday!) I find myself looking for the nearest exit. There are no fees that can compensate me for the potential liability and I must politely decline.

Even when there is ample time and a not-yet drafted agreement and both parties are ready and willing to make full financial disclosure I must admit marriage contracts and cohabitation agreements make me a little apprehensive. There is, whether it is real or perceived, a concern that these agreements are vulnerable to litigation to set them aside in the future if a couple separates. Even if a court upholds the agreement there is the risk that the lawyer will be named in the lawsuit. There is also the risk (inevitability?) that this happy couple, optimistically planning their lives together, must now be exposed to the unpleasantness involved in negotiating a domestic contract.

The negotiation of a marriage contract or a cohabitation agreement must be handled with greater care, taking into account that we are working with an “intact” couple, often at the beginning of their lives together as spouses. Nobody wants to rock the boat…but we have to have some difficult conversations if the negotiations are to be meaningful.

The collaborative process is well-suited to this type of negotiation for several reasons…
• Both spouses and their lawyers can work together as a team to address each person’s concerns and work through potential problems.
• Collaboratively trained lawyers and, where necessary, a neutral facilitator can work with the parties to help them talk with each other about their financial goals and interests in a way that will not appear to be adversarial.
• The parties can exchange complete and reliable financial disclosure by discussing what is required together with their lawyers (and why it is required to make the agreement reliable) and if necessary, parties can work with a neutral financial professional.
• Where estate planning is an issue we can include the estates lawyer as part of the team as opposed to sending the couple off to that lawyer at the end of the process to prepare wills “around” a marriage contract.

I would think that an agreement negotiated through the collaborative process is inherently less vulnerable to a claim to set it aside in the future as it is much less likely the agreement will have been negotiated under duress, or without appropriate disclosure, or with potential for a substantially unbalanced result.

Given the high rate of satisfaction clients have in using the collaborative process to resolve the issues that come up on separation I have been spending time working with my Collaborative Participation Agreement to tailor it a process for negotiating marriage contracts and cohabitation agreements.

Marian G. Gage
O’Connor MacLeod Hanna LLP
700 Kerr Street
Oakville, ON L6K 3W5

Profession: Family Law Lawyer
Tel: 905.842.8030 x3312
Fax: 905.842.2460
gage@omh.ca

www.omh.ca

The Second Marriage: Financial Considerations

March 21, 2014 8:01 am Comments Off

If you are going through the divorce process the first thought after reading the title of my blog is “Never Again!” right? I know it was for me and, in some ways, it’s true what they say, “You don’t know your spouse until you divorce them!!” Some divorcees move forward, embracing their independence. I know I painted my bedroom pink…because I could! But all that new freedom aside, it tends to be a couples world. It’s also nice to share moments in your life with someone special so, for me, I recanted my “Never Again” and did it a second time.

Now it gets complicated, for sure. We each had our children with our first spouses so there’s that to consider. So, if my husband and I owned our home jointly then if I died my half would revert to him. My husband could then go out an find a new mate and enjoy all the fruits of my labour with his new spouse. My kids? They would get nothing. See how this works? So what can you do to help prevent your dying wishes from going awry? Consider the following:

1) A prenuptial agreement. Some say it make a business out of a loving relationship but I think just the opposite. It protects each of your family’s wishes, their kids and yours, and sets the stage for a well thought out transition of wealth plan that is, hopefully, agreeable to both of you. This may stop future feuding once the initial feelings of love and relationship newness wear off and you start to feel that, perhaps, the relationship is a little unfair, leading to potential resentment and chaos.

2) Own your home as tenants in common, rather than joint tenants, based on a percentage of what each of you put into the equity of the home. I think, though, in terms of fairness, anything you both work on together, while married should be split 50/50. I believe family law would support this as well. Keep in mind that if your wealth is so lop-sided that, if you pass away, your spouse would be homeless, that might cause an issue. There are financial solutions available such as purchasing a life insurance policy to offset any deficiencies in providing reasonable housing for the surviving spouse.

3) Did you know that when you say, “I do”, “I will” or whatever acknowledgement of entering a marriage contract is deemed appropriate for you, that your Will is null and void? Yes, you have to renew your Will. Funny thing is, I tried to renew my Will just days before my wedding and I couldn’t do it. Not really but sort of….I had a temporary Will that stating…”In anticipation of marriage I intend my new Will to state…..” and then we formally re-did it when I returned from my honeymoon. Needless to say, I avoided that sky-jumping opportunity, on my honeymoon, when it presented itself.

4) Check the beneficiaries of your registered plans. Remember that RRSP’s and the like, transfer to a spouse tax-free on first death but they are taxed to anyone else you many want to bequeath…such as your children. Lastly, on this note, depending on how your Will is written, if you leave your RRSP assets to your children your Estate pays the tax which could be as high as 46.41%, or roughly half, and the kids get the full value of the RRSP.

I advocate that a well-thought out plan can save many years of potential resentment and put you both on a fair playing field right from the get-go….so you can enjoy the feeling of being protected, financially, for you and future generations.

My advice? Have a well thought out plan before you stroll down the isle. It may save years of grief if you don’t…and it will set you on a good path to enjoy your new marriage.

The Collaborative Process: A One-Stop Shop for Resolving…

March 14, 2014 4:40 pm Comments Off

Marie Nickle LL.B LL.M Acc.Fm

The Collaborative process is my favourite alternate dispute resolution process. Unlike mediation, it is a one-step model. Mediation requires two steps: one to reach a consensus with the mediator; and two, to receive independent legal advice from lawyers who will also turn the Mediation Report into a legally binding agreement or court order.

The Collaborative process is a full service model as it includes all necessary professionals, including lawyers. When lawyers have been involved from the outset they understand the thought processes that went into the construction, unlike many mediations where lawyers are not present during the mediation sessions and are handed a Mediation Report cold, without any context as to what is important to the parties and how the agreement captures the optimal results, crafted by the parties themselves.

Throughout the Collaborative process, the lawyers are ensuring the agreement meets all the necessary legal requirements and that the clients are legally protected, while the other professionals are providing other necessary and valuable services for the parties. The Collaborative process can be thought of as the process that is a one-stop shop for resolving family conflict upon separation.

Marie B. NickleThe Galleria
204-1715 Lakeshore Rd. West
Mississauga, Ontario L5J 1J6

Profession: Family Law Lawyer, Mediator, Collaborative Trainer
Tel: 905-823-1232
Fax: 905-823-7104
mariebnickle@bellnet.ca
www.mbnlegalresolutions.com

Family Law Disclosure

March 10, 2014 12:30 pm Leave a Comment

By Paul Steckley

I’m reminded of a situation that really brings home the importance of being honest and frank in your disclosure in a family law matter, whether it in a litigation setting or collaborative, which I’d like to share. It involves a divorcing couple, where both the husband and wife felt they were each owed an equalization payment from the other. The main area of disagreement between them was that the wife had been operating a business prior to separation that she claimed had stopped operating and was essentially worthless at the time that the parties separated. She even went so far as to hire a certified business valuator who completed a report indicating that the business was essentially worthless as it was not operating and had no assets on the valuation date. The husband knew that he business had stopped operating but disagreed that the business was worthless as he knew that some of the business’s assets were unaccounted for. The matter proceeded to trial, where it was revealed that the wife had in fact been less than truthful. She was forced to admit that not only had she hidden some assets from the business but that at least one of the assets was fairly valuable and had been sold recently. She had even gone so far as to hide this information from her own lawyer.

This shocking revelation basically lost her the trial, as the judge found that she lacked credibility and that her evidence, including the evidence of the business valuator, had to be ignored completely. This even included her evidence that proceeds of the sale of the asset were subject to taxation and the payment of legitimate debts. Because of her lack of credibility, the judge ignored everything expect for the gross value of the sale. The end result was that the wife had to make an equalization payment to the husband, a significant swing from the result she had attempted to manufacture, and probably more than what would have happened had she been honest in the first place. Had the true value of these assets been disclosed earlier, the business valuator might have been able to minimize the effect by factoring in taxes and various costs associated with the assets, reducing their value and perhaps eliminating the need for the equalization payment. It is easy to see why she was lured to the idea of hiding assets, thinking that it would give her an advantage in the litigation. However, in this case the lack of full and frank disclosure did not pay the dividends she was expecting. And not including her lawyer in on this subterfuge meant that she denied herself the benefit of guidance from her lawyer that may have made her realize that her attempts would ultimately backfire. As well, a costly trial was inevitable since the husband knew she was being deceitful. It is always best to bring forth all the information you have, and provide it to your spouse, your lawyer, and your financial professional so that it can be dealt with. In the end it will be less costly and will likely lead to a settlement much earlier in the process.


Paul Steckley, B.A. (Hons), LL.B. 102-2680 Matheson Boulevard East Mississauga, ON, L4W 0A5	Profession: Family Law Lawyer Tel: 905-487-5467 Fax: 905-487-5465 paul@paulsteckley.com www.paulsteckley.com

Dealing with Self-Represented Litigant: The Benefits of Mediation and ADR

August 14, 2013 1:24 pm Leave a Comment

By Fareen L. Jamal and Jesse Lamont

Occasionally, clients are faced with situations where their spouse opts to represent her or himself. This can make an already difficult situation worse.

A self-represented party does not have the benefit of objectivity, and emotion, stress, and legal inexperience often impact their conduct. This can make for a more legal experience. When a self-represented litigant appears ignorant of the law, counsel for the represented party will need to spend increased time and provide repetitive explanations to ensure that the self-represented party understands their obligations and that there are no misunderstandings.¹ This can be very frustrating for everyone involved, particularly because it often leads to protracted negotiations.

To be fair, given that the cost of a three-day trial in Ontario is estimated at approximately $60,000, which surpasses the average per annum income of the normal Canadian family², it is not surprising that litigants are increasingly forced to represent themselves in court. Alternatively, given the increased access to free courtroom services and the proliferation of legal information laced into television shows, litigants with heavy financial burdens are often convinced that they are well equipped to represent themselves. With celebrities such as Courtney Cox and David Arquette making self-representation look easy³, some parties facing daunting legal costs may opt to represent themselves.

However, a client would never consider fixing their own root canal or performing their own open heart surgery, and particularly given the nature and complexity of family law, I could not recommend that a party represent themselves.

Mediation, collaborative family law, and other alternative dispute resolution models offer less expensive alternatives to a court trial and may be more palatable for your self-represented spouse. Given that self-representation often results in delays in divorce proceedings, which are amplified by the emotional undercurrents related to the breakdown of a relationship, mediation, ADR, and collaborative law practices offer a financially viable – and often more satisfying – surrogate to a trial.

If you find yourself in the position of dealing with an estranged spouse who opts to self-represent, consider suggesting that you resolve the dispute through mediation or that you both retain collaborative family lawyers. The short term and long term benefits are undeniable. Your funds are better spent on yourself and your children than on increased court costs.

__________________________________

¹ Fareen Jamal, “Tactical Tools for Family Advocacy,” Ontario Bar Association Continuing Professional Development, October 11, 2012.

² The Honourable Warren K. Winkler Chief Justice of Ontario, “Access to Justice, Mediation: Panacea or Pariah?” http://www.ontariocourts.ca/coa/en/ps/speeches/access.htm on July 6, 2013.

³ “Courtney Cox and David Arquette Finalize Divorce,” Ace Showbiz, <http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00060754.html>

Fareen Jamal
Associate Lawyer

Bales Beall LLP
2501-1 Adelaide Street East
Toronto, ON
M5C 2V9

Tel: 416-203-4538
Fax: 416-203-8592
fjamal@balesbeall.com

Jessie Lamont
Summer Law Student

Bales Beall LLP
2501-1 Adelaide Street East
Toronto, ON
M5C 2V9

Tel: 416-203-4017
Fax: 416-203-8592

jlamont@balesbeall.com

The Collaborative Process: A One-Stop Shop

June 19, 2013 2:42 pm Leave a Comment

Marie Nickle

By Marie Nickle, LL.B., LL.M, Acc.Fm.

The Collaborative Process is my favourite dispute resolution process because lawyers are present in the process to not only problem solve for clients but to protect their individual legal interests throughout. Mediation is a good process, but lawyers are often not present so that when the parties attend ultimately to obtain independent legal advice, because the lawyers’ thought processes have not gone into the construction of the Agreement, they are more likely to find problems due to their lack of understanding of what is ultimately important to the client.

The Collaborative process is a “one stop shop” and accordingly, more effective. If Mediation included the lawyers more often, it would be a better process, in my opinion. I base this on a recent experience where I facilitated a mediation that included the lawyers, who were extremely helpful in narrowing the issues and helping to generate some options. The lawyers then went on to work together to generate a legally binding agreement for the parties. They worked extremely well together and both parties appreciated the “service” provided to them by their lawyers in helping them to resolve.

Marie B. Nickle

The Galleria
204-1715 Lakeshore Rd. West
Mississauga, Ontario L5J 1J6
Profession: Family Law Lawyer, Mediator, Collaborative Trainer
Tel: 905-823-1232
Fax: 905-823-7104
mariebnickle@bellnet.ca
www.mbnlegalresolutions.com

Divorce ~ The Importance of Disclosure

June 3, 2013 12:52 pm Leave a Comment

By Paul K. Steckley

The Collaborative Process is unique in that fostering a strong working relationship between the separating couple is crucial to a successful resolution. The more traditional forms for resolution (litigation, negotiations, arbitration, and sometimes even mediation) more often than not involve people that dislike, if not detest, each other and can’t work together effectively (else they would have chosen a different resolution process). People that choose the Collaborative Process at least have a desire to attempt to set aside their differences and work towards a common goal, and they specifically choose to do so in a way that is respectful and, hopefully, cordial. The Process requires spouses to work closely together, on a fairly frequent basis, and this requires a relationship that is built on mutual respect.

The key to creating an atmosphere that will enhance such a relationship is building trust between the spouses: trust that may have become eroded during the separation. One way to build such trust is by ensuring that each party comes to the table with all of their cards laid out in plain sight. If someone suspects that their former partner is holding something back, they naturally become distrustful and are unlikely to actively listen to the needs of the other person, which is a crucial step in the Collaborative Process. If one spouse suspects that the other is hiding assets, for instance, they are more likely to be reluctant to trust that spouse’s claims that the children are of utmost importance to them, for example. Distrust can seep into other areas of discussion and derail the entire Process.

As such, it is vitally important for the spouses to provide full disclosure of all relevant information during the Process. This information includes full financial disclosure and all other information that is relevant and important to understanding the issues at hand and resolving them. Once their other spouse sees that nothing is being hid, their natural defensive posture softens and then they can then truly embrace all the aspects of the Process. Full disclosure fosters trust which creates a stronger working relationship which leads to a better Process that has a higher chance of being successful.

In addition, full disclosure can ensure that the final Separation Agreement, in the document that the spouses and their professionals have worked so hard to complete, stands the test of time. Spouses that have trusted each other throughout the process are more likely to stand by their Agreement, because they won’t have in the back of their minds that nagging suspicion that they were hoodwinked in some manner by their former partner that leads them to question the validity of the Agreement. And, if, for whatever reason, one does decide to question the Agreement, it has a greater chance of being found by a Court to be enforceable if full disclosure was made throughout the process. It is truly a wasteful exercise to engage professionals and spend a great deal of time and money to create a Separation Agreement that is ultimately set aside simply because full disclosure wasn’t made during the collaborative Process. Separation is a difficult emotional journey for anyone to undertake, and while the Collaborative Process can soften that journey somewhat, it’s not something that anyone wishes to relive years from now. Full disclosure can make the process work efficiently and effectively now, and also provide comfort and stability for the future.

Paul Steckley, B.A. (Hons), LL.B.
102-2680 Matheson Boulevard East
Mississauga, ON, L4W 0A5

Profession: Family Law Lawyer
Tel: 905-487-5467
Fax: 905-487-5465
paul@paulsteckley.com
www.paulsteckley.com

How Separated Parents Could Think About Mother’s Day and Father’s Day…

May 31, 2013 10:50 am Leave a Comment

By Marian Gage

I just celebrated my seventh Mother’s Day as a mother. As always, I got to sleep in. It’s the one day of the year when I am guaranateed a sleep-in. I can start the day slowly. I can shower and get dressed alone without my kids asking for everyting from breakfast to that puppy dog hair clip my daughter got in a loot bag three years ago and now just remembered. My husband whisks the kids away early (ususally in their pajamas). They come back at a much more civilized time with coffee and my kid-made gifts they created at school. We enjoy the rest of the day together. It’s all very nice.

On Father’s Day my husband knows he can expect the same royal treatment.

THis makes me think about so many of the divorce cases I’ve had where we’ve been negotiating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day schedules for children. I’ve had some really nasty cases, as I’m sure most of us have, where Dad doesn’t want to take the kids to see Mom on Mother’s Day because it’s “his” weekend and they’re going for bruch with Grandma, or where the parents fight over time, down to the minute, that they will spend with the children on each of these special days.

In high conflict cases parents can end up spending outrageous amounts of time and money arguing over minutes – will the children be home the night before, or by 7:00a.m. so that Dad can spend the entire day with them on Father’s Day, or will it be noon after breakfast with Mom and Grandpa?

There is, of course, a much more enjoyable way to spend the holiday, even if you’re separated. Mom…why not sleep in on Mother’s Day and let Dad wake up at the crack of dawn with the kids, and bring them over later? Why not reciprocate on Father’s Day and give Dad the same opportunity? Or, if your former spouse just loves waking up early with the kdis, why not offer a break later on in the day?

Separated parents who work collaboratively can find a way to enjoy all of the Mother’s Day/Father’s Day perks on their special days. It’s worth exploring!

Marian G. Gage
O’Connor MacLeod Hanna LLP
700 Kerr Street
Oakville, ON L6K 3W5
Profession: Family Law Lawyer
Tel: 905.842.8030 x3312
Fax: 905.842.2460
gage@omh.ca
www.omh.ca

Mediation: Why It’s Better To Help Each Other Climb The Mountain

March 25, 2013 12:56 pm Leave a Comment

By Meredith Cox

Depending on how the day has unfolded I may indulge in N.C.I.S. or Criminal Minds reruns or some lighter fare such as Real Housewives of Vancouver. One late night I tuned into Family Matters, Justice Harvey Brownstone’s show on Family Law.

The guest was former Alberta Court Judge, Michael Moran. He was explaining his decision to leave the bench after 22 years to become a mediator so he could serve the public better. As a mediator he has the luxury of being able to listen fully to the parties’ perspectives to help them solve their own problems. He cited the “Judge Judy Phenomenon” where the litigants tell their story, she interrupts a few times, gives a quick decision and they cut to a commercial. The result of the show is a distinctly false impression of the justice system. Judges do not always have the freedom to dig deep and understand every aspect of the conflict. Judicial decisions are frequently made in the face of incomplete information. He realized the best outcome could not possibly come from a fraction of the story.

I was reminded of two recent cases in which I had acted for the husband and the wife respectively. We started both cases by suggesting mediation to the other side. They refused so we commenced a proceeding in Court. In one case my client was threatened with contempt of court for trying to tell her side of the story. We were getting nowhere and the trials were looming. Neither party had the funds for a trial. After many fruitlessly painful court attendances and thousands of dollars later we came full circle and agreed to mediation.

After the first mediation session both clients reported feeling satisfied with the way the day unfolded. They felt heard and understood. They sat with a mediator for the day and hashed out their issues. Both parties got to talk at length about what they wanted and what happened behind the scenes before and after separation. It took time, but it was well worth it. Some of the misunderstandings were cleared up. At the break one of the couples went out to get coffee for everyone. They returned chatting and laughing. The connection between them was tangible. In both cases, the mediator used the newly built bridges to assist with designing the terms of the settlement.

The process of mediation got the parties and the lawyers into different mindsets of calm, compassion and warmth. We worked as teams instead of adversaries to climb the proverbial mountain. It was not easy, but both cases eventually settled. Mediation produced healthier and more effective ways to resolve conflict for the clients. Simply, it was less stressful and more rewarding for all involved.

About Meredith Cox

Meredith Cox is a collaborative family lawyer and trained mediator. Her law practice and ongoing education have focused on the diverse interests of family law clients since 1994. After learning about Collaborative Family Law in 2002, she was immediately convinced the process offered a better way to help clients create their own solutions. Meredith is firmly committed to resolving family law disputes respectfully and sensibly for the sake of the clients and the children caught in the middle.

Moving On…

February 19, 2013 2:57 pm Leave a Comment

By Marie Nickle

We have to accept, as Collaborative Professionals, that the Collaborative process is not a panacea. There are many individuals who simply just want to remain in conflict and all the helping to communicate and constructive problem solving we, as conflict resolution experts, can muster will not work. There is one simple condition needed to assess whether the Collaborative Process is fitting for the case and that is whether the parties are ready to move on from the conflict. Simple, in that this is the one condition needed, yet not so simple to ascertain. Of course, most will say they are ready to move on, but behaviour will dictate otherwise. Absent influence, intimidation, and so on, a party’s readiness to be objectively reasonable is the indicator as to whether that party is ready to move on from the conflict. As lawyers advising our clients, it is as equally important to direct our clients correctly on process, as on the substantive legal issues. If the Collaborative process is the right process, then the client needs to know. However, the client also needs to know if it is not. Regardless, due to the last twenty years of sweeping ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution) trends, lawyers need to be apprised of what is out there so they are in a position to properly advise and be responsive to their clients’ needs. This has resulted with more up-front work needed by the lawyer with the client. This simply forms part of the new way to practice law, and in particular, Family Law. If done well, the lawyer will understand whether the client is truly ready to move on…or not.

Marie Nickle is a lawyer and mediator. She also trains lawyers and other professionals in the Collaborative Process of Dispute Resolution.

Marie B. NickleThe Galleria
204-1715 Lakeshore Rd. West
Mississauga, Ontario L5J 1J6

Profession: Family Law Lawyer, Mediator, Collaborative Trainer
Tel: 905-823-1232
Fax: 905-823-7104
mariebnickle@bellnet.ca
www.mbnlegalresolutions.com

Kevin O’Leary’s Cold Hard Truth on Collaborative Divorces

January 29, 2013 4:01 pm Leave a Comment

By Meredith Cox

Kevin O’Leary is everywhere. On the internet, on the radio, on bookshelves and on television (Dragon’s Den, Shark Tank and The Lang & O’Leary Exchange). In his new book, Cold Hard Truth on Men, Women & Money, Canada’s financial guru shares his opinions on just about everything from the use of Botox and fillers to “How to Spot a Gold Digger”. He says we should repair our finances and not our faces. Good to know. He insists rich people need a prenup because good looking gold diggers are willing to date a person who is a lot older, uglier and wealthier than they are for profit. No shock there! We can all silently come up with tons of celebrity and real life examples. Hmmm…

The book’s brutally honest dissection of our relationships with each other and money makes a lot of sense. As I read through the chapters relating to each stage of life, I reflected on where I might have gone wayward. I thought hard about the perils of “Ghost Money” (lattes, lunches and glossy magazines). I inwardly promised to do better and congratulated myself on the smart decisions I had managed to implement so far. From now on the balance in my “Money Karma” account will be on a perpetual upswing.

As a Family Lawyer, I was pleased to learn Mr. O’Leary also has strong views on the merits of Collaborative Divorce. Unlike the traditional litigation model, collaboratively trained lawyers are not adversaries. They will work with you and the other lawyer to obtain the best outcome possible for your family. In his analysis of how to fix or prevent various money mistakes available to us as we go through life, he gives a concise prescription for avoiding the twin legacies of agony and financial bleeding that can go along with divorce court. I have broken it down into two categories: no cost self-help and outside help you have to pay for.

SELF-HELP AND YOUR CHILDREN

1. Be compassionate and respectful to your spouse. Don’t let rage and jealousy cloud your judgment. You might end up spending more money.

2. Do your own research on the law and the process that will work best for you.

3. Get and organize all your financial information. Make your own copies to save money.

4. Money you have set aside as RESP’s for the children should remain in place for their benefit.

5. Put your children’s needs first.

OUTSIDE HELP

1. Don’t try to divide your assets without getting some professional help. It can be complicated. Property settlements are permanent.

2. Get lots of counselling from a mental health professional. Stay in counselling.

3. Find a collaborative lawyer. Consider mediation. Avoid going to court.

Meredith Cox
Sweatman Law Firm
11-1400 Cornwall Road
Oakville, ON L6J 7W5

Profession: Family Law Lawyer
Tel: 905-337-3307
Fax: 905-337-3309
meredith@sweatmanlaw.com
www.sweatmanlaw.com

Lofty Collaborative Goals

August 21, 2012 2:28 pm Leave a Comment

By Diane F. Daly

There are a small number of family law matters that head to court and must be decided by a judge. They often involve parties, one or both of whom, have mental health issues, or drug, alcohol or other addiction issues. In some court cases, the parties are feeling so angry, hurt, afraid or betrayed that they cannot or will not consider any alternative to court. They become entrenched in their positions. Hollywood is rife with examples. Remember Jon and Kate Gosselin? Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards? How about the very public and ugly custody battle between Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger over their daughter, Ireland?

Fortunately, that is a very small percentage of family law matters. There are also Hollywood divorces where the parties used Collaborative Family Law to deal with their separation and divorce amicably, collaboratively, and privately. We heard virtually nothing of the details of the divorces of Kobe and Vanessa Bryand or Madonna and Guy Ritchie, or Robin Williams and Marcia Garces Willes. They all used Collaborative Family Law to settle their custody, support and property issues.

In collaborative practice, the separating couple retains a well-trained team of experts – collaborative lawyers, family specialists and financial specialists. The team’s goal is to help the separating couple resolve all matters arising out of their separation with integrity and in a dignified and respectful way, without going to court. Each member of the Collaborative team utilizes his or her own expertise to assist separating couples identify their underlying needs, desires, concerns and fears. We help clients maintain control of their lives and their process. And compared to court, it is less costly, speedier and much more private.

Collaborative practitioners believe in the integrity of the collaborative process. We believe that, first and foremost, families need to reconfigure their family unit in the best interests of their children. Husbands and wives may become ex-husbands and ex-wives, but hopefully not ex-fathers and ex-mothers.

Collaborative practitioners strive to facilitate their clients’ empowerment through the process. We want to offer the best and highest of what each professional has to offer to ensure the best possible result for each of the separating parties, keeping the children’s best interests front and centre.

Dedicated Collaborative Practice professionals undertake ongoing training and continuing education to ensure we do our jobs to the best of our ability. And it is both a sophisticated and varied education. In September, many Collaborative Practice professionals will attend the Ontario Collaborative Law Federation (OCLF) conference in Barrie. We will take workshops on a whole range of subjects: understanding neuroscience to assist clients to obtain a better outcome; engaging the reluctant spouse; integrating advocacy and neutrality to avoid and manage impasse; overcoming impasse; powerful non-defensive communication; using technology to improve inefficiencies in your Collaborative practice team.

In October, the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) will hold its 13th Annual Networking and Educational Forum in Chicago. There will be workshops on: the value of a child specialist in negotiating custody and residential arrangements for children; the value of a family business expert where divorce involves a family business; learning to recognize different communication styles; the use of forensic accounting in Collaborative Practice, how to deal with domestic violence in Collaborative Family Law cases; learning to assist clients with balancing legal mandates for support and the need for flexibility tailored to individual family financial circumstances. Seasoned, experienced collaborative lawyers, family specialists and financial specialists will train and mentor newcomers.

No matter whether it is a Collaborative Family Law Lawyer, Collaborative Family Specialist or Collaborative Financial Specialist – we are all learning and sharing practical skills, training, exploring, discussing and debating constantly. As Collaborative Practitioners at the forefront of an exciting and dynamic movement, our goals is to provide the finest expertise to assist people to separate and divorce, and reach resolution with dignity, respect and integrity.

Diane F. Daly
Collaborative Lawyer, Mediator & Arbitrator
165 Cross Avenue, Suite 301
Oakville, ON L6J 0A9
Tel: 905-844-5883
Fax: 905-844-9765

Tag Archive: family law